Mass Debating (Stage 11, Varscona Theatre)

By Liz Nicholls, 12thnight.ca

What are the odds that the smart girls on the debating team from Our Blessed Bleeding Virgin of Perpetual Sorrow and Suffering will succeed in wresting the Heart of Jesus Trophy from the reigning champions, St. Sebastian’s Parochial School for Entitled Boys?

It’s Catholic junior high school. It’s 1973. Better starting praying for a miracle, girls. The deck, and the monsignor, are stacked against you.

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This odd little musical comedy by playwright Trevor Schmidt and composer Mason Snelgrove does have its sport with old-school Catholic education. The debate questions are a riot: the role of women in the work force (bad idea), divorce (imaginary), contraception (you’ve got to be kidding).

But the real fun of Mass Debating, in Schmidt’s 100% More Girls production, is in the gender-reversed performances by the sextet of inventive comic actors. The boys are played by female actors; the girls, all named Mary and kitted out in prim tartan skirts, by male actors. And you can get quite giddy watching Jason Hardwick’s glum Mary with her bouncing red ringlets. Or the dazed mid-distance look on Jake Tkaczyk’s impassive Mary, a beautiful statuesque blond. Or the mounting exasperation of Schmidt’s bespectacled Mary, whose rallying cry of “not fair!” goes unheeded.

The uncertain swagger of the junior high boy is amusingly captured by Kristin Johnston, whose idea of conversation with the opposite sex is an unstoppable free-associative monologue. Michelle Todd is a smug little brainiac who knows everything, with Cheryl Jameson as a particularly needy and terrified little boy. Their dealings with the opposite sex are very amusing, as set forth under Schmidt’s direction.

The dialogue, as you might expect from Schmidt, is a funny capture. Between songs, there are “messages from the diocese,” and whispered consultations about the other team. “Mary Margaret’s wearing a bra,” says one lad. “What a slut!” says his teammate.

The opener of Snelgrove’s 70s-flavoured pop score is about the stakes in this all-important championship bout. And each character has a musical spotlight moment. But to me, the music, with a couple of exceptions, seems a bit generic, a bit coming-of-age bland. There’s a song about remembering the particulars of childhood, left behind.  “Everything changes but some things stay the same.” I don’t quite get the connection between the finale song, “I finally found my voice; I see that I have a choice,” and the play we’ve just seen, a demo that the boys always get to win.

But you’ll laugh. And there’s surprise tap-dancing, always a delight. More debates should be won that way.